Are You a Perfectionist?

Perfectionism is one of the ministry leader's biggest battles.  But you say, "I don't expect to be perfect."  Well, look at these signs and be brutally honest with yourself.  Because chances are, if you expect too much from yourself, you probably expect too much from those around you.

Signs of perfectionism:

•    Maximizing the negative - Maximizing the negative is self-centered because it focuses on us and our shortcomings.  God is the only one who’s perfect.  Perfectionism is a way of being in control; if I can control my environment, I can protect myself from pain and disappointment.
•    Minimizing the positive - Never really celebrating anything because it always could have been better.
•    Dot syndrome  - Focusing on one small piece of the entire picture and blowing it out of proportion.  You miss the big picture, you lose perspective, you’re obsessed with the tiny dot.  Like staring at a newspaper picture made up of thousands of tiny dots.  You can only see the one tiny dot you are staring at and not the whole picture that is MEANT to be seen.
•    Black and White/All or Nothing Thinking – For the perfectionist, one thing gone wrong means everything’s going wrong.  This is "Black and White" or "All or Nothing Thinking."  The perfectionist tends to internalize disappointment and failure in an unhealthy way.  They can’t seem to forgive themselves for making the simplest of mistakes and engage in a lot of negative self talk. 
•    Self-esteem based on performance instead of identity in Christ.  Many leaders are extremely insecure because they’re overly perfectionistic.
•    Not being able to admit weakness - We all like to believe that we admit our weaknesses, but the truth is we only admit what we think is acceptable and "normal."  Not being able to admit our weaknesses not only leads to perfectionism but it produces high and unrealistic expectations not only in ministry but our careers, our marriages, our friends, and our kids.

Help for the Perfectionist:

•    Celebrate the Journey –  Celebrate anything and everything positive that comes your way, in life or in ministry.  Celebrating is God-centered and helps us keep our eyes on God and not on ourselves and our own ability.
•    See the BIG Picture - Back up from staring at the tiny dot in the picture you're looking at so you can see the WHOLE picture God has painted and is trying to get you to see.
•    Know who you are in Christ - When you don’t know who you are you live one way with one person and another way with another.  You act one way at work and another way at church.  You act another way at home and another way in your small group.  You don’t really know who you are.  As a result you end up living a lie.  You live a phony life.  You wear a mask.  You pretend.  You’re a hypocrite.  You’re always pretending.
•    Brag about your weaknesses - "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.  So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me." --2 Cor. 12:9  All good and great leaders know their strengths and their weaknesses.  They accept their strengths and they admit their weaknesses.  Leadership is not ignoring one in favor of the other.  It’s being honest about both. 
•    Let God be God - He alone is perfect.  It’s one of the reasons why we worship Him and not ourselves. 

Hi, I'm Justin.  I'm a perfectionist.

Comments

[Crystal Renaud]

hi, i'm crystal. and i too am a perfectionist.

[Rich Kirkpatrick]

ouch... I thought I was already perfect until I read this...

[Rich Kirkpatrick]

ouch... I thought I was already perfect until I read this...

[Debra]

I don't know about anyone else, but if my weaknesses are opportunities for God's glory to shine, folks should be absolutely blinded by His light when they look at me. Of course, if my perfectionistic tendencies get in the way.....UGH! I don't like where that thought leads me. I suppose that might be the point. :)

[Amanda]

I'm glad I stumbled upon your blog, I needed this! :)

Hi, from another fellow perfectionist!

[Steve]

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[Chad Jarnagin]

DUDE. Great post.

Just wanted to say hey. Hope you are frikin' great!

C

[Sarah]

i just found out this month that I'm a perfectionist and am really struggling A LOT... sometimes feeling like i'm stuck... thanks for your post